White Elephant.

I had an amazing dream last night!!! It made me incredibly happy, and I think it's only about once a year that I get such terrific dreams that I want to sleep in to see the conclusion.

So I was driving along an empty road, when I saw a little elephant crying in the field! I pulled over to see what was wrong, and he was this little pure white elephant, small enough to fit in my lap. So I sat down crosslegged, picked him up as though he were a baby, and gave him some peanut butter to comfort him. Turns out, he was lonely, and just wanted some company, so he and I became good friends. I took him driving with me everywhere, and when he grew bigger, he let me ride on my back. I traveled the entire world on the back of a white elephant. The dream ended because winter was coming, and I wasn't sure where I could put him so he could stay warm. I suggested a barn to him, but he really didn't like that idea, and I felt bad that he wasn't home and warm.

Lately, I've been crying in movies... a LOT. This is starting to concern me a bit. A couple of weeks ago, I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and I started crying. Then I cried again. After the fourth time, I decided to keep count, and I was at seventeen times that I had cried when the movie ended. I don't think I want to see that movie again. It's too painful. I thought maybe it was because it was late out, and I was feeling emotional, but the next morning, when I thought about it, I started crying again!

The other day, I went to the theaters and saw Up with Yorge, Heidi, and a bunch of people. What a great film. But it made me cry... six times...

This is confusing. I don't ever cry in movies: the only movie that I had cried in before was A.I. Artificial Intelligence (yes, it's a sad movie!) but now... I went to see Star Trek with my dad and sister the other night, and the opening scene made me cry. Then I realized that all of the stuff that is making me cry is with these people who are in love with each other, but can't be together. That's just heartbreaking. No wonder I'm sad. It's worth crying about.

I'd like to think there's something fundamental, or a best version of ourselves that we're striving towards, and if we aren't fulfilling it, we'll be like my white elephant that I'm trying to stuff in a barn for winter time because I don't want him to freeze. He's not home, and he can't be who he truly is until he finds it, and if he doesn't, he will either freeze to death, or live, but in a tiny little barn where he can't move or see any light. He needs to go home.