Bravery.

I have a story to tell.

I have many stories, and anyone close to me knows this. They also probably know all of my stories. Or so they think. They know the stories I like to tell.

But this one isn't my story. It's a story about humanity. I think the path to forgive and resolve is a very hard path, and a dangerous path. It's not pretty, and the truth is a gory thing sometimes. When you forgive once, you are probably going to have to forgive over and over, and again and again, because people aren't perfect, and will continue to stumble and hurt you, even if they don't know why they're doing so. So people don't forgive. Or, better phrased, we have to learn the skill to look beyond ourselves to have compassion on our enemies. Because to our enemies, WE are the enemy. There's two sides to every story.

I did one of the scariest things I had ever done this week, and chose to talk to two people that I could have easily avoided. From it I have learned many things: one is that the sheer force of the words that human beings say to one another is... mind-boggling. Especially when it involves people you love. Wow. It's a power that can destroy a person. I've also realized it can be used to tremendous good, if it can be used properly. I say that with writing, the pan is mightier than the sword, so one must learn to wield it. I think of my writing sometimes as a force that exists outside of myself, because I will plunge into something, with no idea what will come out, and the deeper I sink into the thoughts and ideas, the more complex, but at the same time, eloquent, even beautiful and window-shattering will the truth ring out. It's something that exists outside of myself, and whispers the ideas in my ear as I copy them down. Terrifying, and great at the same time, I think. The truth is terrifying, and gory. The truth is the pain that is felt, and the courage in confronting. The truth is what has happened out of everything, whether it's good, or terrible. The truth is the reaction.

And reconciliation is a hard path to tread. If you forgive once, you can expect to forgive a hundred times for the same thing. It's a hard and fruitless path. It means hashing to death issues that normal people never choose to even look at, or acknowledge. And it means loneliness, and not much support, especially when people don't understand why reconciliation needs to be chosen. I mean, we always say "forgive, forgive," yet it is VERY hard to forgive. And it is hard to confront someone, tell them they are doing something wrong, and then listen to their story, challenge them, and the forgive them for how they've hurt you. But if that lesson is learned, then one learns the truest essence of what it means to love someone, because it is then when we transcend beyond ourselves into the lives of others and have compassion regardless of the self. I have learned a lot, and I know not yet how to even comprehend enough to articulate the lessons I have been shown. But what I have learned, is the simple answer to the question, why take the path to reconcile and forgive and fix, if it is such a hard and fruitless path? Simply because it is RIGHT, and that reason alone is more than sufficient.

I have been brave, and it was a very kind of brave.